Manoranjan Ka Baap!

Well, IPL is over. Evenings are now dry, Server traffic on Cricinfo has come down from dizzying heights of traffic to normalcy, no more DLF maximums, no more Maxx Mobile timeouts, no more cheergirls etc etc. And yeah, we won ;) ( had to happen in the first season, but for a double arm confusion bowler from Pakistan and a rrrrrriiiiiiggggghhhhhhtttttttt aaaaarrrrmmmmm deadly slow bowler from Chennai [yeah, that slow he is] ). After having spent 50 odd nights doing nothing else than watch this, I thought of restarting my so called 'blog' with a few thoughts on things that happened this season.

If u go ask any keen ipl follower on what irritated him the most, I guess the answer would be commercialisation of everything from sixes to catches and one Danny Morrison who was hellbent on mentioning Karbonn, DLF, citi or Maxx Mobile in every other sentence of his. But, there were few other things that sucked this time and irritated me even more. To start off, ADS. If only I catch hold of the guy who coined the word 'Youngistan'.... Irritation Max. And the ad put up in phases with A,B,C quizzes inbetween... magane mega gaandu. When Pepsi was torturing us with ads as long as Junoon, there were other few unknown mobile ads which were short and no, not sweet. Akshay Kumar's grunts as though he is suffering from both dry cough and diarrhoea simultaneously and Virender Sehwag's girlish laughs to portray dual sims! are probably the worst ads that have come out these days amidst other wonderful thinkers. Guess the censor board should stop checking for obscenity in ads and rather start checking if the ad is really an 'advertisement' or just an irritation.

Coming to players. Actually not many torture cases and aarva kolarus like Sohail Tanvir ( suck it.. he he) , Roleof Van der Merwe ( thudipu mannan) and Shahid Afridi ( dot.dot.out ) got to play this IPL. But still a few pieces went overboard and somehow successfully irritated most of the indian audience. Being a CSK fan, I give the MAX IRRITATION PLAYER award to Subramaniam Badrinath and he wins it hands down without any near competition. All he did was slow down the run rate, swing his bat not to clear even the inner circle and put awesome efforts from the other end in vain. Come on. First CSk vs MI match. He and raina played 14 overs fully and our thala made 55 off 50 odd balls and that too taking his strike rate to 100 only in the last over. Oru Manasatchi irundha avan t20 aada koodathu. But, I pity him. He is Curd rice. He is White cross. He has no shakthi. So wat next ?

Q :What can he do ? Ans : Not play t20 .

Q: Thats not possible Ans : Then please move to KKR. Simple.

One other piss off player : Vinay Kumar. Enuf said. Just hoping he doesn't get decorated as another Jogi in this world cup!!

And how can we forget the 'IPL Mess'. Well we all expected Lalit Modi to launder money. So nothing interesting to talk there. But, Tharoor!. Well a big slap in the face for all those who thought India needed educated politicians. They seem to find out even more cryptic and sophisticated ways of cheating. SIGH! Along with the mess came Match fixing. Well , I am too ardent a cricket fan to accept ipl is fixed and is just a well planned WWF. Seeing Muralitharan run out to embrace Dhoni before everyone else in Dharamshala and Michael Hussey 's reaction after Vijay took Sachin's catch in the final.. well the passion is still truly there. Such emotions cannot be enacted. Or So I think!! For all those who think MI fixed the finals to lose it, Oh! well tried!

Ok, the ipl had its fall moments and some worsht ads between the overs. But, seriously nowadays some ads are so well made that you cant stop to appreciate it. Especially the mobile network operators. Vodafone with its ZooZoos - as good as always. Airtel's Cheeky ads with Sharman Joshi. Idea's some brilliant ads with Ungli Cricket (OK!). But the best were from Docomo with themes ranging from 'No fixed plans' to 'Listen what you want to', they just awed us with one ad after another. My personal favourite is the one where a guy is partying when the house owner knocks the door and this guy rushes his friends to pack things and clean up only to find the house owner asking him to let his neice join the party. ( The Niece - Woh My Gawd.. hot!). I have searched the net but couldn't put my hands on that video. If any one you find it, pls pls pass on a mail to madhanra@gmail.com .

As we were entertained by the ads off the ground, we had the pleasure of even better entertainment in the grounds itself. Yes I am talking about Deepika Padukone, Katrina Kaif, Shilpa shetty et al. If having Deepika on your team doesnt motivate you to support the team, nothing will. Poor CSK had to manage with Sivamani who chose to say Swamiye Saranam Ayyappa when asked to cheer for csk and Kris Srik, who needless to say, isnt as good a brand ambassador as Deepika is ;P . Oh! they even tried to pull off a trick by inviting Namitha for the final. he he he :D. The only solace was that Trisha managed to turn up for few chennai matches and cool off people in the sweltering Chennai heat.

Being a CSK fan, this post wouldnt be complete if I dont mention CSK's brave moments of sheer brilliance which has left us with longlasting memories! With the most acclaimed Mongoose carried by our Namakkal Anjaneyar getting tamed match after match, it was left to the Indian contingent to see us through. And how they did it in style. I can sum up the whole of csk's batting bravados to 3 shots.

1. The Attitude Shot : Vijay's six over mid-wicket.

Vijay is undoubtedly the most stylish player of ipl3. Be it batting or fielding. The elegant six that he lobs over the mid-wicket region. Shud ask RR's bowlers. What a treat. And his fielding. The catch of Ryan Harris in the semifinal. Ah! Beat that!! :D :D

2. The Mutti shot : Raina's six to anywhere once he kneels down.

Suresh Raina!! The only useful contribution by Greg Chappell to Indian cricket.

Batting: when he kneels down, you know you are in for a treat.

Fielding : Not a single ball passed Raina in the semifinal. Best in the business.

Bowling: The 'stop' ball. Ha ha ha. Has taken the art of waiting a minute at the crease before delivering the ball from roadside cricket to the international level.

Thank you Greg!

3. The Kuzhi shot : Dhoni's Copyright, Trademark etc etc

Even though he hasn't unleashed this weapon which sends yorkers out of the ground, he still proved he was the man for big moments. 'Dont.bowl.length.to.Dhoni' read the Cricinfo commentary screen once the final over funeral of Irfan pathan was completed in Dharamshala. So true, that he murders anything in that zone with elan. He is the best finisher in today's game and probably the best player around in the shorter versions by far. With witty ;) dialogues in post match sessions, he sums up to be the best entertainer on and off the field.

He is the best sponsor for the IPL's caption -"Manoranjan ka baap".

Well, I'll stop here. There are lots of other things to talk about too right from the MRF blimp to KKR's third time comedies to a 750000$ wastage called Kemar Roach. Not now, sleeep calling....

To end, A Moment to savour and cherish for years to come!!

Ah rats, blogspot doesnt allow embedded links I guess. Here's the video anyways : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3ODtQUXiJs&feature=player_embedded

August 21 2009 - A true story - Part 2

Then it was Aug 21, 2009

All people in life make brave decisions one day. Some turn out to be successes. Some turn out to disasters. This fear of disaster is the wall that’s before everyone’s eyes which prevents them from seeing the success on the other side. If you can garner enough strength to jump over this wall, you are bound to have success. Or do you? You could as well fall down on the other side and break your legs. That depends on whether lady luck catches you on the other side or not. If she’s waiting for you, well and good. If lady luck ain’t there, well…

I could see the impatience amongst the gathering in the barn. Everyone had lost their patience. It is understandable when you are forced to be part of a a monologue of how an engineer should be profitable to the nation and a rather long-lasting oath session asking each one of them to recite lines like ‘ I will understand my rights as a citizen of India and will strive to fulfill all my duties and be a model citizen and blah blah blah…’. I was lucky, I was on this side of the stage, I wasn’t being monitored on, so I could sit tight and saw others getting troubled. Seems lady luck had visited me on this side of the wall itself. But, I wasn’t idle. Even I was reciting, but not rights and duties , but truths and thoughts. As Mr. Chief Guest sat down, the convocation address was over and there was a sigh of relief all around. A short-lasting relief. The assistant dean walked down to the microphone and announced that we’ll have the toppers on stage now. It was showtime.

I stood up and joined the line after 3 girls. I didn’t knew any of them. Actually, I hadn’t even seen two of them ever before. I was rank four. I would have exchanged it for five. I liked five. But anyway it was the way it was. I was supposed to get no medal, only a certificate. Only the top 3 had medal honours. But who cared? I had more pressing matters. I looked over to her. She was chatting with the girl next to her. ‘Manapenn thozhigal’ was what I could think of immediately. Prakash Raj’s dialogue from Gilli. Then the gong cleared the air. The whole barn went quiet. We were given strict instructions to go up, collect the certis , bow and walk away by Mr.Kumanan. Awfully ironical name , given that the historical kumanan was the ‘kodai vallal’ and this guy was ‘Kodai Allal’!. Screw his instructions. I had a plan in mind and it will get played to perfection.

Girl#1 moved up. I was jittery and cautious. It was like waiting for results after entering the roll number and pressing enter. The only difference was that , I was going to take the exam itself only now. Girl#2 moved up. I straightened my shirt and hat. I was nervous and jittery and a little bit afraid. Even quitting the plan flashed across my mind for a second. Girl#3 moved up. The first 2 girls were already down and out. I was on the edge of the dias now. I made a silent prayer to myself. All I said was…. “I’m going to jump the wall whatsoever.. lady luck u f***ing be there”. Vivek, boomed the voice over the microphone.. Lets goooo. I walked over to the chief guest and took the certi. I heard him say ‘Congrats’. But that was a mile away. I was in action mode now.. I moved near to the assistant dean and to her greatest surprise I stopped her and whispered ‘I have a few words to say’. I could feel the whole of the barn going mum in stunned silence. The dean was in total shock, as I gently pushed her and took the mike. All of them were in utmost shock and no one tried to stop me to avoid embarrassment. I had the mike. I had my chance… A chance to turn Remo…

“ Friends, today we look forward. We look forward to getting out of here from this hell of an auditorium. We look forward to meeting up with our friends. We look forward to our future and the people who are going to be part of it. But ,today, I would like to look back . I would like to look back on our four years at this university. I would like to look back, because one should leave this place with no regrets. No regrets about what we wanted to do, but did not….. No regrets about what we wanted to say, but could not…. No regrets about what we wanted to hear, but did not… So lets all confess whatever we wished to say and could not.. like you’re a big-headed moron, you’re a stuck up bitch and what not.. Lets spit it all out , because deep down we know we want to shout it aloud to the world… If not today, it’ll be never… this is our last chance…. So lets all take one more vow. Today, when we graduate, we’ll speak our mind out to anyone and about anyone and be done with that. No memories, No regrets. Lets take a vow to speak our heart out and shed our true feelings and for one day be open-minded…. And so… I say here today, what’s been locked inside my heart for the past 4 years… I say here today, what I wished to tell the world but didn’t bring up courage to tell even a single soul….. I say here today, the one thing I wish I had said, the one thing I know, I will always regret if I never say…. I say here today about my true love…. Yes.. about my true love… I LOVE YOU SNEHA… I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU SNEHA MURALI…..” I had climbed the wall and had took the leap. I let the truth sink in. I had my eyes only on her. Infact everyone had their eyes on her then. I didn’t know or couldn’t find how she was feeling.. what she was thinking… a face somewhere inbetween tears and a blush and anger. I couldn’t figure it out then. I just wished she knew what I meant. I just wished she knew how I felt. I just wished everyone knew the way I felt about her. “ Yes. I have been in love with you right since the day we meet at the water-cooler in the lecture complex. I loved you right since the moment that you felt sorry for me when you never had to. I can measure that minute in sixty parts even today as every one of those seconds mean a lot to me. I have loved you ,sitting behind you in all the elective courses that I took just to be with you. I have loved you, watching you dance with passion and elegance in this very stage that I am proposing from. I have loved you, but from behind the veils. I loved you all the way along but I never told you, because we never spoke to each other. Or I never had the courage to come up and speak to you. But today, I say this with no regrets, that I have been in love with you for the past four years, Yes, I LOVE YOU and that is all. Thank you’ . Well , I did it. ‘mIm’ to the fear of disaster.. Remo was born.

I could see that all the eyes in the auditorium were fixed at me. Half of the corresponding mouths were wide open. The new Sony coolpix was just hanging around my mother’s arms recording the barn floor. My parents were part of the stunned silence as they had been just been through a free staggering tamil cinema scene. It was expected. I was expecting more, from someone else. And then, our eyes met. It was like ‘ennavale’ song from Kadhalan. We were being transported to an ethereal world. Just the two of us. Or that’s how I imagined. Then, it occurred. She mouthed ‘WoW’ and her lips joined together and widened into an unforgettable smile. Not a ‘wat to do?’ smile nor a ‘cya’ smile . This was a smile of recognition, a smile of real surprise. A special way of saying YES.Lady luck was right on time and had a taken a perfect catch.

I turned and bowed to my assistant dean in mock thanks and walked out. I didn’t talk women, walk women, lock women, clock women etc etc, but still had turned Remo. Once I was out of the barn, I removed my hat and threw it in the air... I had graduated!!

August 21 2009 - A true story - Part 1

There are three kinds of men in the world.

1. The Anniyan type

They absolutely have no fancy with the opposite gender and they are born to do other things. Their ambitions and goals lie in an entirely different area. A classic example of a LXG member.

2. The Remo Type

These guys are born to do things that concerns and involves women and more women. They literally talk women, walk women, lock women, clock women etc etc. No examples needed here.

3. The Ambi type

Rendungattan. A guy who wants to be a Remo but manages to be just like an Anniyan. They create inhibitions and barriers for themselves so as to not move between these extremes. In my opinion, majority of men are Ambis. People who are stuck in the middle who want to go towards one end but are walking towards the other.

I was an Anniyan. But that was until I saw her. Then I switched modes to Ambi. I pretended to be an Anniyan even as I wanted to be the coveted third type. I stood in the middle until it happened. Or until I made it happen…. All those ambis who are wishing to be remos, listen up.

August 21, 2009

“It was all dark then. Then the red drapes in front of me opened , one to the right and one to the left as light filled my eyes. With the sudden burst of light at my eyes, I closed them. The light was not just photons to me. It was a day of recognition , a day of appreciation to the hard work and sacrifices I had made over the past 4 years. The light was the first sign of good things to come. As my eyes got accustomed to the light, I saw a sea of black and yellow in front of me with all the bays filled with beaming faces. I spotted my parents where I had seated them. My mother had the newly bought Sony Coolpix in her hand and my father was waving to me. My friends were in the back bay, chatting amongst themselves , happily ignoring me. But not for long. Then I searched for her. There she was, in all black as well, fondling with her hand-bag. I went dumstruck everytime I saw her as though I had had the most beautiful sight of my life. Well, how long can u be dumb? ?

We weren’t thick friends. Infact I had spoken to her only three times till then. The first time it was just two lines. We met at the lecture hall water-cooler( Actually I timed myself so that it looked like I was passing by that cooler as she came over) and as she took the glass to fill water, “ This cooler’s not working” I mumbled. She turned and looked at me and said “Oh! Thanks” with a ‘wat to do?’ smile and kept the green glass back and moved on to the staircase. I managed an inaudible ‘ No problem’ by then. That was the first step towards the Anniyan to Ambi transformation and I still hold the memory of that ‘wat to do? Smile’ as a souvenir. And the green glass too.

The next time it was slightly better. Three lines. It was just the next day. Same lecture hall. Same water cooler. And I did time myself again for the meeting. The only change was that the cooler was working now.

Me : (Handing over the glass ( a different purple one, of course)) The cooler’s working today.. :D

(Pathetic Entry)

She: (#!@$%) ya! I know..

Me: I’m Vivek from Comput..

She: I know. (Started drinking..)

Me: (Whoa! She Knows. She Knows. She knows….) (In a mild voice) Epdi theryum?

She: Oh! Its 10.35, I got to go.. Sir would have come.. (with a ‘cya later’ smile)

I was overwhelmed by the fact that she knew me by name. And 3 lines, yeah 3 lines. What an exponential improvement. That was just a super moment and I had turned ‘Ambian’ by the end of it. Well I took more souvenirs: the ‘cya smile’ and the purple glass too.

The final time, it was not four lines. No, no, not even five. There were none! The next day, the same lecture hall, the same cooler, the same 10.10 break. But I didn’t time myself now and that made it more special. For a change, I was in a hurry and rushed over to the cooler to have a quick drink. But as though some auto time-matching was there, she was there too. I filled the yellow glass with water and was about to drink it, when the glass slipped out of my hands and toppled downwards with all the water ending up on me. My shirt got entirely wet and I stood in the middle of the chaos as all those around me broke into fits of laughter and making out the maximum fun out of me. I couldn’t do anything but sheepishly move out. And as I moved out, I saw her. She wasn’t laughing or clapping, but she held a face that killed the Anniyan in me. She was feeling sorry for me as though it was her mistake and held a sad face partly filled with anger towards others. Or atleast that’s what I deciphered from her face. I was done in and taken over that instant. My one-slot heart got fully occupied.

There was no souvenirs this time: no ‘ ‘ smile to take home with nor a yellow glass. There were no words exchanged this time. But dunno why, it was THE moment. Ambi had born.

After that there was no speaking, as I had assumed all the inhibitions so associated with Ambis. But then, there were fleeting moments and ‘hi hello’ smiles exchanged which kept me going. But that was all. I purposefully avoided the cooler during breaks. And did an awful lot of strange things understandable only to Ambis. But everyone have their breakpoints. And when, the iceberg breaks, interesting things are bound to happen.

Then came August 21, 2009...

To be continued.... (If slippers don't tear for this post !)